Saturday, March 18, 2017

Souper Saturday

Today I got into a soup making mood. Well, to be honest it hit me yesterday when we were in the grocery store and I saw summer squash on sale. In the summer when our produce is fresh I buy a lot of soup fixings and make big batches to freeze. But we usually eat it up before winter is over. I don't know where this squash came from but how bad can it be when it's in soup?




Starting with onions, squash, cabbage and a half a bag of spinach.


 Next I add chopped carrots and garlic.

Looking pretty good now
Next I add a cup or so of navy beans I soaked overnight



Monday, March 13, 2017

Beam Me Up Scottie or Let the Parrots Free

Last night I watched a PBS special about rescuing abandoned parrots or parrots that people could not keep.  It was an hour long special and talked about poachers taking baby parrots from the nests and raising them to sell. Now instead of poaching they breed parrots.  There are hundreds if not thousands of parrots who now live in rescue places.

They went on to show how parrots and other birds are social and need to be with their own.  They find mates and bond.  Parrots alone in a cage get so anxious they start pulling out their own feathers.  This is like people who are in so much pain they cut themselves.

I got tears in my eyes watching this and especially when I saw a parrot raised as a baby being released and practicing flying.  Then it soared with another parrot and flew free.






This program deeply affected me, even more than I realized because I've often felt caged by fears and anxiety.  I have a feeling that I once knew how to fly but living on this planet with gravity holding me down, I forgot how.  I had a flying dream once and hope to have more.

I got into the shower and found myself sobbing, runny nose, snorting type of crying. It surprised me but it didn't stop for awhile. The crying wasn't about the birds so much but about feelings that came up for me.

I have had panic and anxiety most of my life which was diagnosed as Agoraphobia.  


I'm better now because of a lot of different therapies, especially Emotional Freedom, tapping, but I feel a lot of my life has looked like this..





What does it feel like to live a life of freedom and really fly? 



Would this make a difference?





Sunday, March 12, 2017

For the Beauty of the Snow

This morning, March 12, 2017 we woke up to 2 inches of snow.  It was so pretty.  Later the sun came out and the snow glittered like jewels as the sun shone on it.  It was beautiful to the eyes but taking a picture doesn't show the beauty.  




Then the sun came out and I took this out our front window.  It is pretty but no the sparkles don't show.

Bernie took this one and the Carolina Blue Skies picture below.


The snow is melting fast and that's just the way we like it.  We aren't snowed in.  I just hope the spring flowers and the flowering trees won't get damaged by all this cold.


Wednesday, March 8, 2017

I WAS SO SCARED

When I was a child I had to climb these stairs that crossed the railroad tracks to get to school.  I was TERRIFIED!  Most of the kids liked it and they'd laugh and hop, skip across without any cares.  Me, I whimpered to myself but tried to act brave.  Some days when there weren't any other children there I'd wait, wait so I wouldn't have to cross alone.  I'm not sure what I was afraid of but I was.  I'm not even sure I told anyone how scared I was.  They wouldn't listen anyhow, just tell me to be a brave little girl. 

There were times when I'd stay at my Grandmother's house over night and I could walk to school without crossing the scary bridge.   One of the people mentioned how icy the steps got in the winter. I don't even remember crossing it in the winter.  Did I get driven to school?  I don't know.

Even today as I look at this picture I want to apologize to the scared little girl that still lives inside. I want to tell her how sorry I am that she was so scared.  I can still feel the terror.  


I think I'll do some tapping and let her feel her fear so she can release it. Then I'll cuddle with her and give her some hugs and kisses. I'll tell her that I've come back to rescue her and she'll never have to face those formidable steps again.   I love you little Maurie