Wednesday, March 8, 2017

I WAS SO SCARED

When I was a child I had to climb these stairs that crossed the railroad tracks to get to school.  I was TERRIFIED!  Most of the kids liked it and they'd laugh and hop, skip across without any cares.  Me, I whimpered to myself but tried to act brave.  Some days when there weren't any other children there I'd wait, wait so I wouldn't have to cross alone.  I'm not sure what I was afraid of but I was.  I'm not even sure I told anyone how scared I was.  They wouldn't listen anyhow, just tell me to be a brave little girl. 

There were times when I'd stay at my Grandmother's house over night and I could walk to school without crossing the scary bridge.   One of the people mentioned how icy the steps got in the winter. I don't even remember crossing it in the winter.  Did I get driven to school?  I don't know.

Even today as I look at this picture I want to apologize to the scared little girl that still lives inside. I want to tell her how sorry I am that she was so scared.  I can still feel the terror.  


I think I'll do some tapping and let her feel her fear so she can release it. Then I'll cuddle with her and give her some hugs and kisses. I'll tell her that I've come back to rescue her and she'll never have to face those formidable steps again.   I love you little Maurie  

2 comments:

Lorraine said...

I love this Jean! I am so sorry that this little girl was so scared and I am so glad you will offer her comfort and cuddles. She will treasure them.

Jean Puhlman said...

Thank you Lorraine. It is amazing how this went on day after day, year after year, totally traumatized.