I can't wait until ....



How many times I've said, "I can't wait until school is out."  Or "I can't wait until I lose 20 lbs", "I can't wait until Friday, then I can have fun."

There are so many things we tell ourselves that when this or that is over we will be happier.  Or when this or that comes life will be better.

I spent my whole life telling myself I can't wait until....  I guess one has to get old to really realize what this means.  I saw this meme on Facebook this morning and it spoke to me. 



I kept thinking that if I got my house cleaned, the laundry done and bills paid I'd have time to read, write, play with art stuff, go to the movies ...





What if I hadn't waited until? What if I'd written more, painted more, played more? What if I had stopped waiting until... ?  Who was I trying to make happy? 

TIME FLIES




What are you putting off? What are you telling yourself? Are you going to dust instead of painting a picture? And if you do something you enjoy and feel guilty about it are you going to beat yourself up???

Lightning Bugs Are Back !

Last night I stepped out onto the porch and looked up, hoping.  Was it too early? Are they here yet?  Then I saw lights blinking up in the tree.  Yay, I thought excitedly, the lightening bugs are back!



For a moment I felt like a little girl again.  I grew up in New Jersey and every summer we enjoyed the lightning bug show.  Then, when I was a teenager we moved to Florida.  For awhile we saw them down there too but all too soon the fireflies disappeared.  Even so I would still look.

When we went back in 1989 for mother's funeral we stayed with an aunt and uncle next door to where I grew up.  We were sitting on the porch talking when suddenly lights began blinking outside.  My brother and sister in law were with us and we all leaped up to grab our cameras and ran outside.  Lightening Bugs!  "The tourists are here," our uncle exclaimed with a laugh.  



After moving to Western North Carolina we enjoyed the summer light show again.  Now I get to enjoy another summer watching the lights blinking at night.

Here is an interesting article about fireflies/lightening bugs.




I've been wanting to film a video of the lightening bugs.  Maybe this year I will.  

Sunsets


The west wall was glowing red.  I opened the door and saw this amazing sunset.   I grabbed my iPad and took these beautiful pictures.  

I Love sunsets. These were breathtaking.

I hope you enjoy them too. 


Lunch

Stir fry vegetables with cheese is one of our favorite meals and It is so healthy.  



I chop zucchini squash, mushrooms, onions, red pepper and put them in a non stick skillet with olive oil.   Sometimes I put in cabbage or eggplant.  Or even yellow summer squash.  It all depends on what I have and what sounds good at the time.  I saute these vegetables for about ten minutes, then I add chopped garlic and some garlic powder and other spices.  While the vegetables are finishing cooking I open a can of chicken stock (you can of course use vegetable stock) and a bottle of low sodium soy sauce.  I drizzle the soy sauce around once or twice and add about the same amount of broth.  Then I throw in a big handful of cheese. We like the taco blend cheese or mexican blend.

I serve this with either quinoa or brown rice. I've even eaten it over whole wheat pasta.  I haven't tried pesto but I bet that would be good too.

Yes one can add tomato sauce or alfredo too.

What would you add to this dish?

 



Birthdays, Shoulds and Mother's Day

My birthday and Mother's day are usually a week apart or so.  This year my birthday was on a Monday and Mother's Day was the next Sunday.  




"What did you do on your birthday?" 

"Tried to buy a door."



An Asian buffet restaurant gives free meals for people on their birthdays.  I felt like I "should" go. After all it's free.   But my taster wasn't for Asian this year.   What did my taster want?  Oh I so dislike the pressure of feeling like I needed to celebrate something just because it was my birthday. I like myself and want to celebrate every day I'm alive and well.  So I relaxed and know that I can go out to eat any time I want.  Yes that felt better.  We ended up getting hubby a new pair of glasses and eating butter burgers at Culver's.  I really like them and it was just what my taster wanted.  Hubby got onion rings and I got french fries. A birthday party in my mouth!


I had some coupons from other restaurants offering desserts for my birthday.  But I had an A1C test coming up two days later and really didn't want to do desserts.  I know, french fries, buns and onion rings are carbs.  I'm getting real tired of worrying or even thinking about this stuff.  After all I just turned 83. 

My test came out too high and it's got me thinking.  I can get my blood sugar down if I work on it and count carbs, cut out things I like to eat and be careful.  But I'm thinking be careful for why?  I'm not real interested in living until 90 and having to be cared for. Yes I know there are people who live past 90 and are healthy and active.  I'm happy for them.  It doesn't "light me up".  Maybe in a few years I might change my mind. 

A part of me would really like to know how long I'm going to live. I know, many say they wouldn't.   Death is a scary subject. I'm not afraid to be dead, it's just how.  I think the right to die should be passed in every state.  For people who have terminal illnesses and are in pain not just for ordinary old people although ...

Financially I'd like to know how long I have to live.  What's special about having a good credit score when you die?  They aren't going to ask me that at the "Pearly Gates".  





At 83 I don't have the ability to answer how I'd like to see myself in 3 years, much less 5.   I can only think about a week at the most.  I don't say, "I can't wait until"  anymore. 

I'm not depressed, just thinking.  I got over 200 wonderful birthday greetings on Facebook. That made me feel wrapped in a sweet blanket of love. 

As for Mother's Day.  I'd rather have a Smiley balloon rather than flowers.  


I'm glad I have a goofy sense of humor.  It helps and as long as I can find things to laugh about, including our crazy lives I'm ok. 



Magazine Addiction Online

I am Jean Maurie and I am a magazine addict.  There, I said it.  I'm not trying to heal it either because I enjoy my curiosity and it keeps me off the streets. As a blogger and writer I'm in magazine heaven.




I can borrow magazines from our public library through an app called Libby.  These are free with my library card. 

I had a subscription to Texture but Apple bought them out.  I like the magazines but I don't like the Apple News + format.  The Texture App worked much better.   I've read complaints from people who feel the same way I do about the Apple format.   Yes this one costs $10 a month.   I used to buy a lot of printed magazines so actually I'm saving money with the subscription.  If I continued buying print magazines it would cost me a lot more.  Of course I could stop buying printed magazines but I probably wouldn't.  Now I have the apps so I don't need to buy print magazines.  I used to have stacks of magazines all over my room.  When we moved I got rid of many boxes of them.  Now my room is uncluttered and  I'm sticking to the online apps.  If the Apple one doesn't get any better I might cancel.


Today I explored a magazine app that is fascinating.  It's from Stockholm, Sweden filled with magazines from all over the world.  Plus one can read them in many languages.  The app is called Readly. I found Guideposts and their Angel magazines on there plus a lot of art and watercolors magazines.  They even had crossword puzzle magazines that I can actually work once I learn how to use it.  I found The Writer magazine that I was thinking about subscribing to. 




You know those big glossy how to magazines that cost almost $20 that teach us how to use the Ipad pro,  Google for Seniors, Using the Iphone, how to use the Android, how to use Instagram and much more? There are a bunch of these I can read on Readly.  I got a trial subscription for 99 cents for a month so I'll see how it goes.  I think I'll drop CBS all access because I really don't like it or watch it.  These magazine apps are so much more interesting.

Ok, I'm going back to exploring my Readly App now. It might take awhile, so if you don't see me online you'll know why.  











I Did it! - 30 days

I started blogging with Effy Wild  when she had her month long blog-alongs but didn't complete an entire month.  This year she started her month long blogging invite in April.  I found it about 5 days later but started anyhow. Then I skipped a few days. So here it is May 9, 2019 and I finished 30 days of blogging.  I'm quite proud of myself for actually blogging for 30 days.  I also enjoyed reading and commenting on the other blogger's posts.





I enjoy blogging but hadn't done much of it recently until I started again around April 5th.  I didn't know if I had enough ideas to blog for 30 days but somehow I did.  


Will I continue?  I hope so.   I'll aim for once a week and if I write more that will be even better but no pressure.








Now the writing bug has jumped back into my brain and I want to start writing articles or short stories again.  I have some ideas and I downloaded what looks like a pretty good writing App on my ipad so I can write there too.  




Thank you Effy Wild for giving me a challenge to blog every day in April.  








Wholly Holy Way



Listening to this beautiful music meditation can dissolve me into tears, smiles, dances, singing - lots of emotions

I am revisiting this blog as the world is experiencing the Coronavirus.  What a strange time this is.  I have not experienced this in all of my 84 years except during the time of the Polio scare. We couldn't go to movies or any public places just like now until the Polio vaccine was invented.

So why not enjoy this beautiful song and think of how we can live joyfully in a Holy Holy way.

Much Love to us all 








A Conversation With My Ten Year Old Self On Her Birthday - 28

JM (me) - "Happy Birthday Sweetie. This is the big day that Mom's letting you ride your bicycle in the street, are you excited?"

Maurie - "Yeah  I don't know why she was so afraid to let me do it before though.  She treats me like a baby."





JM - "She sure was a scardy one but she thought she was trying to protect you."

Maurie - "Me and Loretta are going to ride over to Mantua later."

JM -  "Oh those days were fun. I remember feeling so carefree and happy."

Maurie - "I'll probably be old before she lets me drive a car.  Wait, how do you "remember?"

JM - "Ha ha, at least 21.  I know that feels like forever."


Maurie - "21?  I'm going to have to wait THAT long? How do you know?"

JM - "Sweetie, I'm your future self who knows what's going to happen to you.  And you are in for a big surprise!!"





Maurie - "Really? What's going to happen?"

JM - "I hope you have a good imagination or you will think I'm crazy, but believe me, this is big. 
 You're going to live in a world where you can take your phone anywhere you want and be able to talk to people."



Maurie's eyes open wide, "Really?"

JM nods "Not only that but you will be able to sit at a machine called a laptop computer and chat with people all over the world."




Maurie - "You're making that up."

JM - "No I'm not.  You will be so curious that you're going to have over 2000 friends on a place called FACEBOOK. And you're going to be able to take your phone with you and read stories on it while you wait in line and you can even go to school on it."




Maurie - scrunching her face,  "I don't understand."

JM - "I know but trust me, it is going to happen so when you feel stupid in school now, try to remember this conversation and think about it. You're going to be so excited to realize how smart you really are.  Maybe you remember what I'm telling you and pretend that you believe."

Maurie - "Ok, I like pretending.  Do you have to go now?"




JM - "Yes sweetie, but I'll be back. I am going to teach you how to tap so when you get anxious or scared you will have a tool to use that will help calm you.  I'll be back soon.  I love you."

Maurie - Waves to JM, her future self. "Thank you, hurry back." 





I've been blogging with Effy Wild for the month of April and I'm just about caught up. 





They forgot to Install my Travel App - 27

My daughter in love flew to Santa Fe, NM with their cat, rented a car, went to the apartment they rented online. She discovered there was no microwave so she went to Target and stocked up on a few things they will need in their new place.  My son is driving there from Fla.  I'm thinking that doing this is not on my radar.  I haven't flown since 1954 and that was in a prop jet.  I wouldn't even know how to book a ticket or know how to pack so not to get patted down.   I've never rented a car and trying to find my way around a strange town is daunting.   I remembered what my coach told us about the differences in people and the way they think.  "He doesn't have that app,"  he said.   I don't feel the travel app was installed in me.  

I'm curious.  Are we all born with the same capabilities?  Why do some people have travel in their blood and others don't want any part of it?

Why can't some people sit still and others thrive on it?


Is there an app for travel that I didn't get?  Or did it rust out because I never used it?





I didn't get the sewing app either, or the hiking app.  





What apps do you feel you didn't get?  I'd be curious.




I've been blogging with Effy Wild in April, and got a late start.  I almost completed 30 days but it's been so much fun I just might continue. 









It's Fri daaaay - 25

When I was in a group on Facebook the group leader and Astrologer used to start his astrology video for the day by saying in a silly voice, "It's Fri daay" and he'd do a little dance.  It was kind of cute. So that's how I'm starting off today's blog.

It's been a nice breezy day so we could have all the windows open and it wasn't too hot.  I love days like this.  The front of our house faces west so it gets that hot afternoon sun.  Funny I just typed son and corrected it.

I've been thinking of my son too because he is driving from South Florida to Santa Fe, NM tomorrow alone.  His wife flew out today with the cat.  I think that's the longest he has had to drive and when he'd drive straight through to visit us he was toast.  I know he will phone us as he has hands free phone while he is traveling.  I don't want to worry because it wouldn't be good for me and certainly not a good thing to surround someone with worry energy. I have been supportive of him the whole step of the way.   I don't want to do to him what my mother did to me - tell me all the things that could go wrong.  That is such a mean thing to do.  I mean how does it help?   She did this to me my whole childhood.  I think she believed by saying stuff like that it would help to keep me safe somehow.  I'm not angry anymore, I have forgiven her because she didn't know any better.  But I'm not doing it to my son.     He is married to a woman who has travel in her blood.  Her father took her all over the world with him on business and pleasure.  She has to travel.  So they've travelled to Europe every winter and she's shown him places she loves.   Every time my mind would conjure up some "what if" thought I'd stop myself and say the Prayer For Protection for him:


Prayer for Protection


By James Dillet Freeman

The light of God surrounds us;

The love of God enfolds us;
The power of God protects us;
The presence of God watches over us;
Wherever we are, God is!



I've said this prayer for years and it has given me a lot of comfort and a safe feeling.  I change the "us" to "you", "me", "them" whatever is needed.  So I will visualizing my son's angels of protection around him as he travels.  It helps. 









I Felt Weird so I cooked - 24

This morning I started feeling weird.  Kind of restless, not knowing what I wanted to do.  I allowed myself to sit with it and tapped on feeling odd.  It wasn't a scary type of feeling like something was wrong, just uncomfortable.   It could have been because hubby was outside trimming bushes and a part of me felt like I "should" be out there helping him, although he didn't ask me to.  Before we moved, as we were discussing where we wanted to live, I told him that I did not want to be doing yard work.   I started feeling a tad better when he was finished.  After nearly  61 years of marriage and me having tried to be the "best wife", it is still a bit difficult to be doing my thing while he is doing stuff that might need help.  Being raised in the 40s and 50s I learned well the duties of a good wife. But I'll leave that for another blog.  


1940s housewife





What was I feeling?  Why so restless?  I didn't want to go out, I knew I "shouldn't" sit at my computer all day scrolling Facebook and playing games.  I wandered around the house aimlessly until I reached the kitchen.  Ah, soup!  I love soup and could eat it 4 times a week at least.   I had the ingredients.  First I cooked hard boiled eggs in my Instant Pot.  10 eggs in 5 minutes, quick release five minute natural release, then plunge them into cold water with ice.  They peel so easily too.

While the eggs were building up the pressure,  I chopped onions, garlic, celery and cabbage.  Then cleaned out the Instant Pot bowl and dried it. Then I put it on saute and added some butter and olive oil.  As it was heating, I chopped up a lot of zucchini squash and some more cabbage.  I threw in the onions, cabbage and celery and let them saute a few minutes, then I added the garlic.  I tossed in some garlic powder, Italian seasonings and some other spices I pulled out of the cabinet.   I added a big box of chicken broth and let it heat up for a bit, then I dumped in the squash and cabbage, put the lid on, locked it and pushed the manual button to 6 minutes.


Soup counting down in Instant Pot
After the little silver pin on the top of the lid popped down, I knew it was safe to open.   It looked like this.


soup before blending
I got out my immersion blender so the soup would be creamier.


Soup after blending


Then I added some half and half and a couple handfuls of Mexican Blend cheese.  I tasted it and it needed something more.  Ah yes, a pinch of salt.  Another taste test and the soup was ready to eat.

Out came my favorite love cup that I filled with the finished soup and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese.




I'm not restless anymore, just FULL!








A bit overwhelmed but okay - 23

Whew, today is the big day! For months I have been working on writing angel prayers and recording them for My Angel Prayer. I was so honored to be chosen as one of 20 + angel practitioners from around the world to participate on this. Our prayers are on Amazon Alexa now and you can hear them.  The instructions are on the Angel Prayer link.  Today we were all interviewed live on Facebook! It was fun. 

I had been listening to the other Angel Practitioners and of course, as a human I found myself comparing. Some were offering classes, some had written books and more. But then I remembered this is about Angels and how they help people, not about ego.

 My interview was at 1:30 Eastern Time and you can find it on  My Angel Prayer page. The video starts at 1pm with a lady from India for the first 30 minutes. Mine comes after that at 1:30 Eastern Time. I am amazed how fast time goes on an interview. It was fun though. I had 5 pages of notes and only had to look up the name of Archangel Gabriel. My angels helped me with every word. 

I have some updating to do on my web page but I'm not going to grit my teeth and get tense. I will take my time, breathe, ask for guidance and just let it happen. 

Even though this is May 1 and April blogging is finished, I started  a bit late, then skipped a day or two. I have a week to go and if I actually do 30 days it will be the first time I actually completed a whole month. I plan to continue blogging because it's fun and also good for my brain.

Thank you Effy Wild for encouraging people to join and blog.