Taking Time For Ourselves without Feeling Guilty

I grew up in the 40's and absorbed the teachings of what a good wife and mother should be like.  Always have the house clean, the ironing done, dinner on the table when the husband comes home from work. (Not that I was able to live up to these teachings)  Don't bring up important subjects in the evening because he has had a hard day at work and needs his relaxing time... and more. I remember feeling guilty if I wanted to read a book if there were dirty dishes in the sink or if I hadn't ironed my husband's work shirt yet.  Oh so much time wasted feeling guilty about not being enough.

Fast forward to 2017 - everything has changed (or has it)?   Women work outside the home, they can order their dinner on the phone and pick it up on the way home.  Or order boxes of food to be delivered to the door to be cooked.

But women still stress over being enough no matter what era we were raised in.  I wonder how my Granddaughter does it all with a full time job, two sons and a big house.

I want to add that I like things better now.  When hubby retired he took over the housekeeping and laundry.  I haven't ironed since I gave it up years ago.  I still love to cook but I don't need to ask "can we go out to eat" anymore.  I know and love myself better.  

Taking time for ourselves is so important.  If we give ourselves away to everyone else we can get overloaded and it can make us sick.  So we need to take OUR time - whether it is reading a book, chatting with our friends or taking a nice long bubble bath.

What do you do to destress?  Do you feel guilty when you take time for yourself?

Why I Love Facebook

I got 279 Birthday wishes just on Facebook yesterday! I feel wrapped in a special blanket of love! 279 birthday greetings! Before Social Media I was lucky to get ten birthday cards. Sure people say it's better to write a letter instead of texting or posting on Social Media. They can have their opinion but I thoroughly enjoyed my Facebook Birthday Here is a sampling of some of the posts I received.





Facebook actually made a video for me.



There were funny Greetings

Sweet and pretty ones too

Happy Birthday, Jean! May your new year be filled with love, joy, health, peace, prosperity, and abundance!

Happy Happy Birthday Jean Maurie. The angels love you and so do I. I hope you have a wonderful celebration and wonderful year ahead.

I wish you all that your Heart desires...

Happy Birthday Jean! Have a lovely day and a fabulous year ahead...  and lots more..

I got a lot of free coupons from restaurants for desserts and several places sent me coupons for actual FREE meals including one of my favorite Asian restaurants.  

Oh yes, I can't forget the Amazon gift certificate from a friend.

So how could I not feel loved?  The greetings are still coming in! So thank you from my heart to all of you who took the time to make my birthday special including my son who phoned me and my husband who took me to dinner and shared the day with me.

A special thanks to Facebook for all you do so people can celebrate their special days.

🎂

Fat Stomach? Where?

I always thought I had a fat stomach.  It bothered me.  I wanted a flat stomach.  I exercised, tried pulling it in.  Didn't work.  That fat stomach was always in the way.

Recently I found some pictures of myself and looked at them in amazement. Where was that fat stomach that always bothered me? Where was it? What happened?  Or was it never there at all?  I don't understand.  

What else about myself bothers me? Can I finally accept all of myself? At 80 it's about time.  I wished that I knew then what I know now.  I could have appreciated myself so much more then. What a difference it would have made in my life.  But I'm not going to look back.  Instead I love myself - body, mind and spirit :)

We sure do a number on ourselves don't we?  What is it you criticize yourself for or want to change?
Let's talk.

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR COOKIE

The other day I went with my hubby to the doctor to see about his yearly blood test, blood pressure and such.  We always go together because 4 ears are better than two.

We like our doctor for the most part and I guess some of the things she says is, to her, good doctoring.  But when the numbers come back a little elevated we hear stuff about right eating and exercising... 

I know pretty much about right eating but I also know that worrying about every little thing I put in my mouth is not good either.  Did you know that if you ate something that "they" say is a no no and you worry about it your cells hear every word you say?  They can react with a tightening too.  What if we ate the delicious things with lots of "mmm, this is delicious" remarks and feelings? Would the cells react accordingly?  I've heard and read this is true.

We heard that we can have our nightly cookie if we agree to exercise more.  Something about this stayed with me and I've been joking about it ever since but not in a "funny" way.  A big sarcastic if you will (what does "if you will" mean anyhow?)

Ok I admit I am very grateful that I made it to almost 81 levels of age ...

but don't tell me that I can have my cookie okay?  Yeah it pissed me off.  All my life I've heard don't do this or do this this way or that's not the way it should be done. Or this isn't good for you, be careful going here or there, don't eat after 8pm; can't eat but a cup full of carbs and oh yes, Don't drink Diet sodas!!!  There are a lot more don'ts or should's but I'm not gonna bore you with them, I'm sure you've heard them all too.

Oh yeah, why should everyone's cholesterol, blood pressure and triglycerides be the same???  And some of those diets that are recommended would make me really sick.  My body does not tolerate citrus fruits or too many tomatoes.  No grapefruit or pineapple juice and absolutely NO pickles.

So what's the point of all this?  Well for one thing I'm gonna die of something.  I know, the doctor is trying to make sure I have a good quality of life until I die. Thank you but don't say, "you can have your cookie!"  Damn straight I can.  And my pasta, pizza, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and anything else I want to eat! That is quality of life for me.  Oh, I might get diabetes?  What if I called it "old lady betes?"

Ok I'm going to stop ranting but look what happened to the dog

My checkup is in May.  Lucky me, lucky her!

There Are Many Faces of Courage

Someone posted this video in a group I belong to on Facebook.  I watched it as tears filled my eyes.  What wonderful parents she has to encourage her to try different obstacles and grow braver.  It made me wonder what my life would have been like had I been encouraged instead of warned that everything was too dangerous or unladylike.

Of course there are different ways to be brave and although I didn't climb through obstacles I faced other things with courage.

On the Rachael Ray show today a woman was on who decided to face 100 fears. Her name is Michelle Poler and she has a You Tube Channel called Hello Fears

I understand why my mother was so afraid of me getting hurt because she nursed me through many facial surgeries and of course she didn't want me to get hurt.  But I'm intrigued by those who face their fears instead of letting them rule their lives. 

What fears would you like to eliminate from your life?

Souper Saturday

Today I got into a soup making mood. Well, to be honest it hit me yesterday when we were in the grocery store and I saw summer squash on sale. In the summer when our produce is fresh I buy a lot of soup fixings and make big batches to freeze. But we usually eat it up before winter is over. I don't know where this squash came from but how bad can it be when it's in soup?

Starting with onions, squash, cabbage and a half a bag of spinach.

 Next I add chopped carrots and garlic.

Looking pretty good now

Next I add a cup or so of navy beans I soaked overnight

Beam Me Up Scottie or Let the Parrots Free

Last night I watched a PBS special about rescuing abandoned parrots or parrots that people could not keep.  It was an hour long special and talked about poachers taking baby parrots from the nests and raising them to sell. Now instead of poaching they breed parrots.  There are hundreds if not thousands of parrots who now live in rescue places.

They went on to show how parrots and other birds are social and need to be with their own.  They find mates and bond.  Parrots alone in a cage get so anxious they start pulling out their own feathers.  This is like people who are in so much pain they cut themselves.

I got tears in my eyes watching this and especially when I saw a parrot raised as a baby being released and practicing flying.  Then it soared with another parrot and flew free.






This program deeply affected me, even more than I realized because I've often felt caged by fears and anxiety.  I have a feeling that I once knew how to fly but living on this planet with gravity holding me down, I forgot how.  I had a flying dream once and hope to have more.

I got into the shower and found myself sobbing, runny nose, snorting type of crying. It surprised me but it didn't stop for awhile. The crying wasn't about the birds so much but about feelings that came up for me.

I have had panic and anxiety most of my life which was diagnosed as Agoraphobia.  

I'm better now because of a lot of different therapies, especially Emotional Freedom, tapping, but I feel a lot of my life has looked like this..

What does it feel like to live a life of freedom and really fly? 


Would this make a difference?