My Life Purpose, What's Yours?

Day 10 Write about a Dream you Once had that you let go of and where did that lead you?

Gosh this feels heavy.  "What am I going to write about?" I wondered, as I pondered my life.  I could write that I wanted to be an Airline stewardess way back when but they wouldn't accept anyone with facial scars, thinking they were caused by an airline crash - plus I was too short. Then I thought about how I wanted to live and work in New York City. But mother told me if I left home before I was married she'd hire some strong men to come and bring me home.  At that time I didn't realize I had any power.  Oh yes I wanted to be a nurse until I was in a hospital elevator with my nurses club and smelled ether. I had a humongous panic attack from all the ether I had been given as a kid during my surgeries.  Another dream out.  So where did all this lead me?

I've mentioned in other blogs that I had PTSD from all my surgeries and not being allowed to express my feelings and a big school phobia that turned into agoraphobia. So I would say my search for healing led me to an interesting and fulfilling life.

Agoraphobia

 Okay so I started searching for ways to feel safer and less afraid.  I went every week for hypnosis which helped me relax a bit more. That was working good until they wanted to drug me.  I told them no and got dismissed.  I tried Biofeedback and it was one of the first times that I ever really felt totally relaxed.  Actually I had to relax to make biofeedback work.  I would love to have one of their machines to practice with now.  I went through 3 weeks of intense Primal Scream therapy and lost my fear of losing control and being locked up someday. That was promising but it was not practical to be primal screaming all the time, especially when we lived in my mother-in-law's guest house apartment to help her with the property.  So I had to close off some of my emotions again.  

I founded the Agoraphobics Anonymous in Palm Beach County back in 1978 with the help of a group from Miami and the local Mental Health Association.  I facilitated it for a year until I knew it was time to move on.

During this time a friend was studying Astrology. I really didn't know much about it and he offered to do my chart for me.  I got so interested in how there were so many different combinations of charts.  It was fascinating and showed me why some people are certain ways and other people see the world in other ways.  He also pointed out things in my chart that showed why I felt the way I did.  And he said a window of opportunity was coming for me to grow and get out more socially.  He said the window wouldn't close but if I used the energy it would make it much easier. So I did and started taking classes in Astrology.  My teacher also used Tarot cards and I got interested in how they worked and took many classes about reading the cards on many levels.  

I loved the idea of Angels and Guides helping us so I was playing around on AOL and typing in angel names.  I found Angels Love You which I grabbed and have kept ever since. I got it as my domain name and created a web page and a page on Facebook using it.

I have since discovered Emotional Freedom Technique where we tap on the acupuncture points expressing exactly how we feel instead of trying to push our feelings down and covering them up.  When people go through traumas their instincts are to Flee or Fight, but when they can't do either they Freeze.  There are many kinds of traumas and even little ones that go on and on can turn into Post Traumatic Stress.  Like someone who is afraid to go to school every day and no one believes she is afraid but thinks she is just being naughty.  When she isn't listened to then she can develop physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches.  I experienced this myself and have read where children were taken to the doctors for this and they don't find anything wrong so they force them to go to school. It would be better if the child was listened to and the parents or doctor tried to find out what they are afraid of so they can release the fears or learn to use tools during fear/anxiety episodes.

I am going to share with you a video that Karin Davidson teaches a child how to use EFT for anger. 

Here is another video by Brad Yates helping a child acknowledge her fear and releasing it.






I am so glad I've gone through all this so I can help people.  It is one of my greatest joy in life to help someone feel better about themselves, to be able to acknowledge how they feel instead of putting on a happy face when they are suffering inside.  I have heard to "Feel the fear and do it anyway." But that is the hard way.  Yes there are many ways to work through feelings.  I honor this and can only say what works for me

Of course affirmations can work after we acknowledge our feelings and meditation also works.  (You don't have to clear your head of all thoughts to meditate either). 

I also call in my angels for myself and even when I'm tapping I call in my angels to help me release the stuck emotions. After a session with a client we pull an angel card or two.  It is so cool that the card that appears always is the perfect card for what we have been working on.  

Look, it worked again! Look at the card that fell out as I was shuffling asking for the perfect card for this blog.

"A dream come true! Believe in yourself. The end of a difficult situation."  Isn't that what the blog for today is all about?  I just love these cards and how the angels help us.