Oceans, beaches and pools have been my relaxation places. As a child we'd spend some summers down at the Jersey shore. Many summers I'd be having surgeries so the times I spent at the beach were special to me. Smelling the salt air and feasting my eyes on sun sparkling on the ocean relaxed me to my core. I also got some bad sunburns. I'm not even sure if they had suntan lotion in the 1940s.
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| Little me in the ocean |
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| Me on my Aunt's dock in Stone Harbor |
When I was a teenager we moved to Florida and my parents built a pool in their backyard. I was in my glory. I turned golden brown and my hair became white/blonde. My natal moon is in Scorpio which is a water sign. Moon is all about emotions so no wonder I felt so at home living near water.
When I turned 50 I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my chest. I was so hoping that it wasn't skin cancer, but it was. They found a couple more on my forehead so I decided not to go to the beach and sunbathe anymore. People told me, "Just wear long sleeved shirts and long pants and go after the sun goes down." No thank you. Nothing about that appealed to me. But I grieved. When we'd ride by the ocean a part of me just wanted to throw caution to the wind and dive into the ocean. A few years went by and I spent my time in the air conditioned house. We talked about moving to the mountains, so we took a couple trips to the Tennessee, North Carolina mountains. We decided we liked the Asheville area the best so in 2000 we moved up here. I never saw a mountain until I was over 50 and my Taurus Earth sign fell in love with them.
Fast forward to 2014 I had another skin cancer removed from the side of my nose. This was a raised shiny crusty bump. Last year I discovered a little pink spot on the side of my nose and rather close to my eye. It was just an innocuous pink spot. It didn't bleed, it wasn't crusty but in November my dermatologist did a biopsy and it came back as a basal cell. I had a consultation with a surgeon who said it needed to come off and I should have had it off a year ago. So February 8th I had the first surgery. Since it was very close to my eye, I had to have two surgeries, one, a mohs surgery to remove the cancer and
The ordeal is done, I've healed pretty well but I'm also a little angry. It pisses me off that this one special thing that I loved to do could cause so much damage. Yes I know, it could have been worse. I googled this and it seems that it's a DNA thing where the DNA cells are damaged and don't heal from sun damage. Scientists are studying it more. Yes I have a light complexion, blonde hair and light eyes. So I am more susceptible but neither my mother or my brother have had to have skin cancer removals.
So if you've been in the sun a lot maybe check your skin for pink spots. There are charts for what to look for on our skin but this one did not fit any of them. It was just a little pink spot.
I know I need to tap on the grieving more (EFT/tapping) because right now the sun feels like my enemy.
