Fear, Panic Attacks, Anxiety I felt all of these

When I was a child I had many surgeries to repair a cleft lip and palate.  I was told to be a "good girl" and a "big girl" and don't cry.  But I was terrified.  I told my mother I was nervous and she said, "Little girls don't have nerves."  Why am I writing about this?  Because as a child I couldn't flee.  I couldn't fight.  So my emotions and fears froze inside.  I had to wear a cuff that prevented me from reaching up and pulling out my stitches so I felt even more trapped.

I became phobic and when I went to school I looked different and was hard of hearing.  The kids called me quiver lip and more.  One little girl said she'd be friends with me when we were alone but when others were around she wouldn't be my friend.  I accepted that but it hurt.  I didn't learn how to stand up for myself.  I had a stomach ache every morning before I went to school and actually looked forward to being sick so I could stay home from school and not feel stressed.

The teachers didn't know how scared I was, they just thought I was trying to get away with doing my school work or they thought I was stupid.  I often sat in class staring out the window wanting to run home but I knew they would bring me back to school.

Having not dealt with any of these fears, they turned into Agoraphobia, the fear of having a panic attack and losing control.  For many years I thought someday I was going to go crazy and get locked up in a mental institution.   I used to call it "my problem" having no idea what was wrong with me or how to get help.  People would tell me to just get out there and be brave.  I had been "brave" for too long.

Why am I talking about this now? Not to make anyone feel sorry for me but to explain that I was traumatized by not being able to flee or fight.  All these fears were locked down within and came out as phobias.  I had many types of therapies and everything helped a little but it wasn't until I found Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Thriving now that I really got help.  When we experience a series of traumas our primitive brain does everything it can to protect us, to try and keep us safe.  For me my primitive brain helped me feel safe by making me scared to go to doctors, dentists, school and I don't even like to get my hair cut.  I am getting better though thanks to learning about the Primitive Brain and how to make it my friend and sooth it.

There is a wonderful course that I took and was greatly helped that is starting again.  It is called Reprogramming Your Primitive Brain.  Anyone who signs up before midnight on Thursday gets a free 20 minute tapping session with Rick Wilkes either by Skype or phone.  Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli have helped me so much and I have many tools now if a panic attack starts.  I am still a work in progress but I've come a long way.

So if you have anxiety or feel unsafe, have a problem with self-worth you might want to take a look at the Reprogramming Your Primitive Brain Course.  There are tapping videos, meditations, phone calls you can participate in and more.  You didn't need to experience the kinds of trauma I did to feel unworthy or have self-esteem issues.  There are many "small traumas" that can trigger these kinds of feelings.  Tapping is amazing and very simple.  I continue to feel more confident and happier.  I hope you will too.

With Love, Jean Maurie 


Rick@Thrivingnow.com said...

It's been SUCH an honor to work with you, Jean. I so admire the way you have Emerged with such honesty and transparency. Thank you for being a leader in our group and in the ways you invite people to love and accept themselves... and grow into a thriving life in healthy ways. <3

Jean Maurie said...

Thank you dear Rick. What a beautiful reply. It means so much to me <3 Isn't it funny that I didn't see it until today 9/16/17! I am truly honored to be a leader in the group and that you saw this quality in me. Thank you <3