I Can Be Happy When - Day 9


I saw this on Facebook earlier and thought, This is my blog for day 9.  

All my life I've been waiting for this or that to be here and I would be happy.  

Or if I just take this next class and be certified I will feel confident enough to do Tarot, Astrology or Angel readings.  So I kept taking classes.

Then there was therapy! As someone who has had panic and anxiety most of my life I looked for ways to heal.

First there was hypnosis.  It helped.

Then there was Primal Scream.  I had to face some of my scariest moments there.

Biofeedback was next.  I loved it and learned for the first time what it felt to be totally relaxed. I'd love to have a biofeedback machine here.  Yes I do remember that delicious feeling.

Several past life therapies were interesting.  Did it help?  Not really but I'm glad I tried it.  Yes I would do it again if circumstances presented itself.

I had several talk therapy sessions that were ok.

Now I work with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping) and I would say this has been the best along with meditation and visualization.   Do I still have anxiety and panic?  Yes but nothing like I used to.  

I will be 85 in May and I am learning more and more to be in the NOW.   If someone asked me where do I see myself in 6 months or 5 years I would just smile.  I don't have any long term goals and it is quite freeing.  

This morning I woke up at 3:30 and my mind started racing about the what if's.  The appointments that I put off because of staying isolated are coming.  Our 2nd week after our 2nd shot will be this Tuesday.  There are things we need to do that we put on our waiting list are facing us.  Not bad stuff, just stuff.  I could feel my body tensing as all this rolled around in my thoughts.  Then I remembered some of what I've learned.  

Why am I thinking about things that are in the future when now is the only time I have.  I closed my eyes and asked myself as I mentally tapped, "how do you want to feel"? Then I did my slow deep breathing and said, "Relax, let Go and let God.  Next thing I knew it was 7:30!  

Can I do this always? No.  Sometimes those ornery voices in my head won't shut up but often they will.  

I'm Blogging every day during April with a group of other wonderful bloggers.



Ellie-TheForgottenMuse said...

I think that too so many times. I can't be happy unless this or that, or until
I achieve this or that, or or and and. Round and round I go. Trying to break that habit though.

Cheryl Turtlemoon said...

You’ve chosen a very valid point, I’m like that “I’ll be better when I.....” it’s a bit of a trap, and so easy to do!

deb said...

What a great prompt! I hadn't thought of choosing my prompts that way, but that is perfect!
Cheryl is right, it's a trap we easily fall into, thinking we will be happy "IF"

I've been using tapping (EFT) as well. I'm still amazed at how well that simple act works!
thank you for sharing!

Donna said...

Thats so true, I have spent so many years in the "it would be better if" or "I will wait until" but having lost mhy husband when I was 42, I am not doing that now. I have remarried and Im now 50. Im half a century old, I feel is somedays, and others I still feel young. My new husband and I spend every day being happy and being the best we can for each other, we know how short life can be. But You are 85, you are amazing, you know that, and I am loving reading your daily pages, thank you for sharing.

Susan @ A Slice of My Life said...

I think we are trained from a very young age that The Grass is Always Greener...when in reality it's often about the same as what you are standing on. I'm generally content, but sometimes...