Blogging Day 9 People Who Think They Know how Others Should Live Their Lives

My friend Reenee Cummins shared this picture on Facebook.  It spoke to me.   I am sure I have been guilty of doing this to other people, especially when I was younger and thought I knew how others should do things and when.  I was so bad back then.  I hope I don’t do it anymore. 

That cat looks quite sarcastic doesn’t it, or bored.  

Why this spoke to me is that when I was so agoraphobic I would get these intense stomach pains while trying to go to classes or church.  I remember wanting to go and driving there but I’d get into the parking lot and almost be doubled over by pain.   I’d drive away and the pain would go away.   Sometimes I drove back and went in, other times I’d go home. It was very tiring.  People would say, “Where were you?”  “Why didn’t you come to class?”  I would mumble something about not feeling well or use some other excuse. I was so afraid to tell them how weak it made me feel. Sometimes I would get brave and tell them about my fears.  “Oh just say affirmations or ask God to help you.”  I’d hear.  That hurt. Why? Because no one knew how often I did this.  I’d beg God to take this fear away.  I actually didn’t know what was wrong with me.  I thought someday I would lose control and get locked up someplace.  This was in the 1960s. 

Another time I was sitting in the middle row amongst people listening to a lecture I was interested in but I felt so trapped I felt like I needed to run.  My hands became clammy, I couldn’t concentrate on the talk, and I just needed to get out. But I didn’t want to bother anyone and I felt glued to the seat.  A friend told me to just excuse yourself, get up and get out. I didn’t know how. It was too scary. I haven’t put myself back in that position since.  I always sit on an aisle seat. 

Later I was watching the Phil Donahue show in the early 70s and there were people talking about having the same symptoms I did.  I was so excited to know there was a name for it and I wasn’t crazy after all. Dr. Hardy was a pioneer in treating Agoraphobia. 

Next came an article in the Good Housekeeping magazine about it and having self-help groups where people with these fears could help and support each other.  We didn’t have anything like this in Palm Beach County where I lived at the time so somehow I started one and facilitated it for a year.   I won’t go into the details but it was way out of my comfort zone.   I went through hypnosis, talk therapy, Primal Scream therapy and everything helped.   I’m now working with Emotional Freedom Technique – Tapping and it is very helpful.  I’m still not doing some of the things I would like to be doing but I am better.  I eat in restaurants and I can go to meetings if I want to. I don’t obsess so much about the physical symptoms that I feel but I have tapping and other tools to use.

I didn’t mean to go into this so much because this is about how people don’t seem to know what to say that is helpful.  Instead they try to tell you what to do and they can be very critical too.   Yes I tried positive thinking, meditation, affirmations but what I was actually doing was trying to cover up fears that were buried and suck it up.  It did work sometimes but mostly I felt like a loser and I was actually mad at my body.  I actually had therapists tell me how lucky I was that I felt pain when I tried to do something scary. I didn’t understand that until I got into Emotional Freedom (EFT).  Now I thank my body for trying to protect me.  When we get pains it is for a reason.  Being gentle with myself and thanking my body is much more helpful than being mad at it and tensing up.

From this I hope I’m more compassionate with people. I don’t tell them what to do or put them down for their pains.  Instead I ask them how it feels, listen with empathy and many times people feel safe enough to cry and let their feelings out.  I am so honored when they can share their vulnerability with me. 

They called me the CLUTTERBUG

I spent 75 + years unable to organize my stuff and they called me the Clutterbug.  I love books and magazines.  Plus I saved piles of papers that had been stuffed in folders from years ago.  I am also a writer and saved every article I could find about writing plus all those rejections and half written stories.  My files were overflowing and the tops of my file cabinets were piled high with unorganized books - smaller books on the bottom that would crash to the floor periodically.  My office was a MESS. How to declutter? Where to start? What is keeping me from letting go?  Who am I without my clutter? Did I feel incomplete without my books, magazines and papers?

With the help of Rick Wilkes' coaching  and Thriving Now  I got uncluttered enough to actually downsize and move.  I thought I was doing well, and I was.  But Rick Wilkes and Carol Look created a Free webinar to help with getting rid of clutter.  I joined and was amazed to discover I still have clutter issues.  6000 + emails! Yes that is part of clutter too!  Yes it bothers me!  Yes I want to delete them and have more control over my emails!
I was also amazed to learn I had FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) What if I miss something? What if I don't have something anymore? What if I need it some day?  That is why I moved too many books, too many papers and too many magazines! So I still have more to do but I know it will get easier.  How? I joined the free webinar and it helped me so much I got the Clutter program.
Would you like to watch the Free webinar and see if you have clutter issues or find ways to make your surroundings and your mind more peaceful?  Ok here it is!

Cool isn't it! And so informative!  There is a place there to sign up if you want to join the clutter program.  You can join it here too.  I am so excited to have released a lot of clutter in my life that I just want to share it with others.  I'm also looking forward to releasing 6,000+ emails of my own and healing my FOMO!

My Life Purpose, What's Yours?

Day 10 Write about a Dream you Once had that you let go of and where did that lead you?

Gosh this feels heavy.  "What am I going to write about?" I wondered, as I pondered my life.  I could write that I wanted to be an Airline stewardess way back when but they wouldn't accept anyone with facial scars, thinking they were caused by an airline crash - plus I was too short. Then I thought about how I wanted to live and work in New York City. But mother told me if I left home before I was married she'd hire some strong men to come and bring me home.  At that time I didn't realize I had any power.  Oh yes I wanted to be a nurse until I was in a hospital elevator with my nurses club and smelled ether. I had a humongous panic attack from all the ether I had been given as a kid during my surgeries.  Another dream out.  So where did all this lead me?

I've mentioned in other blogs that I had PTSD from all my surgeries and not being allowed to express my feelings and a big school phobia that turned into agoraphobia. So I would say my search for healing led me to an interesting and fulfilling life.

Agoraphobia

 Okay so I started searching for ways to feel safer and less afraid.  I went every week for hypnosis which helped me relax a bit more. That was working good until they wanted to drug me.  I told them no and got dismissed.  I tried Biofeedback and it was one of the first times that I ever really felt totally relaxed.  Actually I had to relax to make biofeedback work.  I would love to have one of their machines to practice with now.  I went through 3 weeks of intense Primal Scream therapy and lost my fear of losing control and being locked up someday. That was promising but it was not practical to be primal screaming all the time, especially when we lived in my mother-in-law's guest house apartment to help her with the property.  So I had to close off some of my emotions again.  

I founded the Agoraphobics Anonymous in Palm Beach County back in 1978 with the help of a group from Miami and the local Mental Health Association.  I facilitated it for a year until I knew it was time to move on.

During this time a friend was studying Astrology. I really didn't know much about it and he offered to do my chart for me.  I got so interested in how there were so many different combinations of charts.  It was fascinating and showed me why some people are certain ways and other people see the world in other ways.  He also pointed out things in my chart that showed why I felt the way I did.  And he said a window of opportunity was coming for me to grow and get out more socially.  He said the window wouldn't close but if I used the energy it would make it much easier. So I did and started taking classes in Astrology.  My teacher also used Tarot cards and I got interested in how they worked and took many classes about reading the cards on many levels.  

I loved the idea of Angels and Guides helping us so I was playing around on AOL and typing in angel names.  I found Angels Love You which I grabbed and have kept ever since. I got it as my domain name and created a web page and a page on Facebook using it.

I have since discovered Emotional Freedom Technique where we tap on the acupuncture points expressing exactly how we feel instead of trying to push our feelings down and covering them up.  When people go through traumas their instincts are to Flee or Fight, but when they can't do either they Freeze.  There are many kinds of traumas and even little ones that go on and on can turn into Post Traumatic Stress.  Like someone who is afraid to go to school every day and no one believes she is afraid but thinks she is just being naughty.  When she isn't listened to then she can develop physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches.  I experienced this myself and have read where children were taken to the doctors for this and they don't find anything wrong so they force them to go to school. It would be better if the child was listened to and the parents or doctor tried to find out what they are afraid of so they can release the fears or learn to use tools during fear/anxiety episodes.

I am going to share with you a video that Karin Davidson teaches a child how to use EFT for anger. 

Here is another video by Brad Yates helping a child acknowledge her fear and releasing it.






I am so glad I've gone through all this so I can help people.  It is one of my greatest joy in life to help someone feel better about themselves, to be able to acknowledge how they feel instead of putting on a happy face when they are suffering inside.  I have heard to "Feel the fear and do it anyway." But that is the hard way.  Yes there are many ways to work through feelings.  I honor this and can only say what works for me

Of course affirmations can work after we acknowledge our feelings and meditation also works.  (You don't have to clear your head of all thoughts to meditate either). 

I also call in my angels for myself and even when I'm tapping I call in my angels to help me release the stuck emotions. After a session with a client we pull an angel card or two.  It is so cool that the card that appears always is the perfect card for what we have been working on.  

Look, it worked again! Look at the card that fell out as I was shuffling asking for the perfect card for this blog.

"A dream come true! Believe in yourself. The end of a difficult situation."  Isn't that what the blog for today is all about?  I just love these cards and how the angels help us.

I WAS SO SCARED

When I was a child I had to climb these stairs that crossed the railroad tracks to get to school.  I was TERRIFIED!  Most of the kids liked it and they'd laugh and hop, skip across without any cares.  Me, I whimpered to myself but tried to act brave.  Some days when there weren't any other children there I'd wait, wait so I wouldn't have to cross alone.  I'm not sure what I was afraid of but I was.  I'm not even sure I told anyone how scared I was.  They wouldn't listen anyhow, just tell me to be a brave little girl. 

There were times when I'd stay at my Grandmother's house over night and I could walk to school without crossing the scary bridge.   One of the people mentioned how icy the steps got in the winter. I don't even remember crossing it in the winter.  Did I get driven to school?  I don't know.

Even today as I look at this picture I want to apologize to the scared little girl that still lives inside. I want to tell her how sorry I am that she was so scared.  I can still feel the terror.  

I think I'll do some tapping and let her feel her fear so she can release it. Then I'll cuddle with her and give her some hugs and kisses. I'll tell her that I've come back to rescue her and she'll never have to face those formidable steps again.   I love you little Maurie  

FOG BLOG

Have you ever had a day when you felt foggy in the brain and couldn't seem to make any decisions?  I think we all have.  

Does it feel like this?

Or this?











I love riding through the fog but I sure don't like it in my head.  On those foggy head days I just kick back, take some self-care and wait.  Or maybe I tap on "Feeling foggy and fuzzy brain."  Feeling like this can be from overload, trying to make too many decisions, stress and more.

When I allow myself to feel my feelings without pushing them away or pushing them down by using affirmations, I usually feel better the next day and sometimes even later that same day.  The sun begins to shine.  That's not to say affirmations don't work or aren't helpful. They are as long as we aren't using them to cover up and push down feelings we need to acknowledge.  If I do use affirmations and I hear "yeah but", that's what I need to pay attention to and clear.  Then the affirmations have a better chance of working.

Maybe it is a fuzzy, foggy sun but at least the fog is beginning to clear.   If we wait long enough the sun does come out and we start feeling better and hopefully getting more clarity.

Now this feels like clarity to me! Full sun shining, lighting up the picture, lighting up my life with new ideas, new answers for those difficult decisions and peace.

I can help you with your decisions with a tapping session, an angel reading and more. 

http://angelsloveyou.com/

jeanmaurie@angelsloveyou.com

Love, Jean Maurie

Is Your Life A Journey or a Joy?

I just watched this video (posted below) on Facebook and felt tears well up and roll down my face.  It brought up some strong emotions.  

I wonder how many of us followed the rules, trying to "get there" but it didn't work.  Did you? What are your experiences?  I would love to read them if you feel vulnerable enough to share.

The rules to be a good daughter, student, wife, mother... Clean the house when I'd rather be writing or dancing.  Have dinner on the table when my husband came home from work. Feeling guilty because I wasn't out working.  Or even feeling guilty while writing because I wasn't doing laundry or vacuuming.  

This might sound whining and maybe it is. This is how we were brought up in the 40s.  I've been unlearning.  

Here is a poem I loved and would read when I felt guilty writing or playing.  It helped some.

Why Does it Feel like Everyone's Getting on My Last Nerve?

We’ve heard a lot about road rage on the news lately. What is going through someone’s mind when they get upset about being cut off by another driver? Or why does the other driver cut someone off? What has their day been like? Did their boss yell at them? Were they recently fired? Did they get in a fight with their wife at breakfast? We’ll never know. But often other people’s reactions affect our own.

What if you’ve had a sleepless night and you are in a grumpy mood? Or what if you’ve been up all night with a sick child and have to go to work the next day? Will your worry and tiredness leak out all over other people in the office or will you snarl impatiently when you call customer service about some problem? Or will someone else’s mood affect yours? Why do our moods and angers affect others? It’s because we, as humans were trained to be alert to dangers to keep us safe. When we were tribe members and a lion or tiger approached we’d all be on alert. We had to be or we might be in danger of being eaten.

Believe it or not, we still have a lot of this in us, trying to protect us from being hurt. So when our boss yells we feel it even if he’s not yelling at us. Or if I get frustrated at the way the letters don’t appear right away when I try to type something on Facebook and I pound the keyboard with frustration, my husband hears me rage. What’s it doing to him? It certainly can’t feel peaceful. Yes, sometimes I rage because I’m human and that’s when I realize I need to stop and tap to release the frustration energy and calm myself down. When we care about the people we interact with on a daily basis, so we feel upset when our friend calls and tells us that they had a fight with their partner. We’re unhappy when our son calls and says he got fired. And it can upset us when we hear a news story about someone who was bullied, who we don’t even know. The good news is that we can change our reactions and our emotions! “Really”, you ask? “How?” We can Reprogram our Primitive Brain. Yes, really and it isn’t all that hard.  Honest!

Here is what Rick Wilkes wrote. “And it’s not as hard as it sounds. I can teach someone how to write a simple computer program in 5 minutes. Cathy and I together can teach you how to start reprogramming your primitive brain in no time! And if you give it just 20 minutes a day worth of time and attention, for a few weeks, you will have developed a skill that is even more valuable than being an expert computer programmer.”

I took this course last year and even though I will still get frustrated from time to time, it doesn’t last as long nor is it as often because I have the tools to use now and can stop and tap. I can even laugh at myself for my humanness but even better, I don’t beat myself up anymore when I do act human. I used to be ruled by anxiety and panic attacks. I don’t get them as much anymore. Sure, I feel anxiety and energy rising within me but I know how to calm my primitive brain and sooth it. I have much more control than I used to. So would you like to feel calmer, more in control and happier? If so, I invite you to join me to Reprogram Your Primitive Brain. Join me? Yes I’m going to take the course again because I found it so valuable that I want to go through it another time and anchor all that I learned the first time. "You don’t have time, you say? You don’t know how? “Of course not. Your primitive brain is likely stressed from never feeling like it can take a break. We know how to shift that. “I can’t do this on my own!”

Of course not. No one can. It’s why Cathy and Rick will be there to make it as easy as possible for you.

If you’re tired of being an infectious agent of negative emotions… if you’re exhausted by being triggered by the negative emotions of others… at least check this out. Why? Because for Cathy and Rick, it is their mission to bring this awareness to Light. When we all learn how to detect that someone is “in their primitive brain” we can each respond in a healthy way rather than a reactive way. We can offer a hug or help… and not join in the battle.

The world has enough battles going on…

We want to co-creative safe, healthy, loving connections. That requires a shift out of the primitive brain into the whole of the body-mind.

It’s an honor that individuals from 77 countries have already taken this program with us. It’s making a difference. We want this idea to spread… and we want peace and confidence for each and every person… and for YOU.

Let’s do this together! You can sign up here:http://www.thrivingnow.com/primitive-brain/

With love and support," Rick & Cathy and Me too

P.S. We invite you to share this with others in our tribe. Thanks for spreading the word! P.P.S. The program closes Friday at midnight. If you are devoted to this kind of change in yourself and the world, do sign up now.”

Releasing Old Vows

Releasing old vows

“Dear God,” I wrote in my diary in 1957-58.  “If you will bring me a man who loves me I will be the best wife imaginable.  I have a lot of love to share.”

How Do You Want to Feel?

Five days with sporadic internet outages!  I phoned my internet provider daily, got apologies, work order numbers and promises.  I told them I needed my internet to be working on Thursday at 1pm because I was the host of a radio show and was told, "Oh yes it will be working."  But I had an uneasy feeling, rightfully so.  I called Maggie, my co-host and asked her to run the studio as host, which she did. I logged on as co-host and just as I suspected, my internet went down during the show again. At least I was able to interview our guest on the telephone.  

Not sure if you know but I am a big proponent of Emotional Freedom Technique and tapping.  But on the 3rd day with my internet going up and down, being totally unreliable, I was so angry that tapping didn't help much. But I tapped anyhow because I knew I was getting a benefit somewhere in my body. But I wasn't feeling less angry.  My husband suggested we get out of the house for awhile and see if our new friend who owned a farm had any silver queen corn. Bernie called him and he had four ears left that he would save for us so we drove over to his farm. As we drove I kept asking myself, "How do I want to feel?" I was still furious about the internet outage because I was paying business rates and it was almost impossible to run an online business without being able to get online.  

Tapping Points

I touched each one of the upper tapping points saying, "how do you want to feel?"  I began feeling calmer and I started focusing on the trees with their beautiful green leaves. I began noticing how many different shades of green there are on the different trees.   I focused on smelling the fresh air coming in the car window.  The sun was shining, I am healthy, I have a loving husband, we have a home, money to buy food and life is good.   I am so blessed to have learned the wonderful question, "How Do You Want to Feel?" From my coaches, Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli.   How do you want to feel has helped change the way I look at problems, it has been a stress reliever and I don't stuff my feelings like I used to.

When we got to the farm, he was no where to be found but that was okay because we weren't in a hurry.  We saw a bag with the corn waiting and I looked at the rest of the vegetables he had in the baskets.   The fresh yellow squash was so beautiful so I bagged up some.  I'd been buying lots of fresh vegetables and making soup for the winter.  Here are some of the beautiful tomatoes he had for sale.

I decided to take some pictures with my cell phone because it was such a peaceful place to be and I continued feeling blessed.

The farmer's name is Mr. Lance and he had been inside eating lunch and didn't hear us pull up.   He is a native of this area of North Carolina and had some interesting stories to tell. We pulled up some chairs and enjoyed listening to him.  I also liked how he had this book that he wrote all the purchases down and then added them up with a calculator.  No credit cards, no electronic devices.  How cool and down to earth!

I wanted to  feel better - calm and happy instead of angry and it worked.  Here are some more beautiful pictures on the farm.

Another wonderful benefit of tapping and asking myself how do I want to feel is that I don't get the old stomach aches I used to get when I was upset and frustrated.   I don't get as many headaches or backaches either. No I'm not perfect yet and I still have more to learn and practice but I feel very blessed. 



To learn how to become less stressed, more relaxed and happier visit my web page and if this speaks to you, book a reading with me. 

http://www.jeanmaurie.com/

Love, Jean Maurie

Daring to Find Myself

This morning I saw this picture on Facebook and it triggered some heavy emotions in me.  I could hardly catch my breath as I read these words.  I let fear rule my life. Now that I've been involved with EFT, especially Thriving Now with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli, I'm learning to find those pieces of me I hid because I was afraid of being judged how I looked, how i spoke, and more.  I've climbed a few emotional mountains and found bravery within I never knew I had. I'm sure there are more pieces of myself I can reclaim as I continue to climb mountains, drive to unknown places and dance to my music. Does anyone want to join me?

What's Stopping you from Achieving your dreams? Is it Time To Take The Parking Brake Off Your Life…And Have More Fun!

Do you feel stuck, have projects you have to do but just can’t get around to working on them?

Do you start beating yourself up about procrastinating and call yourself lazy?

Do you feel overwhelmed and wonder if there is something wrong with you?

Not fun is it? 

What if it isn’t your fault? What if there is nothing wrong with you? What if you could find a new way to live your life more successfully with less struggle?

“First, it’s important to know that none of this is your fault! The struggle and pain you’ve been through isn’t because you’re bad or don’t deserve abundance. The reason you’ve been struggling is because a part of your brain has been fighting you.  Why would my brain fight me you ask?

There is a part of the brain, called the Primitive Brain that focuses on survival. Its main purpose is to protect you. This part of your brain has first dibs on all your resources. Your primitive brain will flood you with adrenaline and other chemicals to let you run faster than you ever thought possible to escape a bear. It can give you the strength and courage to fight a mugger or pull a car off a small child.”

My primitive brain tried to keep me safe when I was having a lot of surgeries as a child.  I was terrified but told not to cry, to be brave and be a good girl. So instead of letting my fears out I stuffed them and tried to be a good girl.   I couldn’t run away, I couldn’t fight so I froze.   I developed phobias which turned into agoraphobia, the fear of having panic attacks and losing control.   I would sit in school, so scared that I couldn’t learn and I made terrible grades.   I lost confidence in myself and didn’t know where I’d be when I had a panic attack.  I knew where every bathroom was and carried a portable toilet in my van.  I stopped going to restaurants, stopped traveling and wouldn’t go to meetings or movies.  Along with this came body pains – backaches and stomach aches.  Life wasn’t fun.  

I searched for answers with hypnosis, “primal scream therapy”, talk therapy, desensitization therapy, prayer, meditation, and more. Everything helped a little but it wasn’t until I discovered Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and joined Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli at Thriving now, did I really find help.  I learned about the primitive brain and how it tried to keep me safe through all these traumas and I was able to release many of my old struggles.   Now that I understand that my primitive brain loves me so much it will do anything it can to keep me safe, I can use the tapping tools I learned from Rick and Cathy and work with my primitive brain instead of fighting with it.

Rick and Cathy have created this wonderful program, Reprogramming Your Primitive Brain And Take the Parking Brake off your Life.

 Wow, imagine getting unstuck and having more energy to finish your projects easier and stop battling your way through life! 

Imagine not feeling stressed at the end of your day!

Imagine having more self-confidence!

Imagine being able to sooth yourself and stop overeating, over shopping or whatever it is that you wish you could stop!

Imagine feeling excited about life rather than being fearful of change!

Imagine hearing your friends asking what you've done to yourself because you look younger, more relaxed and happier!

How do you do all this? 

Check out Rick and Cathy's new program, Reprogramming Your Primitive Brain and Take the Parking Brake off Your Life.

See what they've created for you:

Guided meditations
Videos
A live hour call
Some super special bonuses to help you with romance, law of attraction, abundance, sex & relationships and more.

I have received so much help working with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli  these past three years that I believe in any program they create.  That's why I am so excited about this program and writing about it - so YOU can enjoy your life more, have more fun with less stress.