Detaching - Day 11

Tuesday I didn't bypass how I was feeling in my blog and today I'm not going to do it today either.  Yes I missed two days.  Yesterday I still had  some emotional stuff coming up. There was a call at 2:30  with the emotional freedom circle I belong to.  

So I raised my hand and talked about how I was and had been feeling.  We tapped together on the points and talked about vulnerability and also picking up on other's pains.  It is hard being highly sensitive. He said I listen with my heart, mind, groin, angels... in other words my whole being.  It helped.  Sometimes when we feel too much we have to learn to detach.  

Detaching has been difficult for me.  The definition for detach is, among other meanings is: Disengage or Withdraw.   Yes when I listen to someone who is hurting, sad, fearful, I do listen with my whole being. I also feel emotions in my body - my back, my intestines, head.   How do you listen with compassion and at the same time disengage?  It is even harder when it is someone I love and care about.  

Aha I just read this, "stop being responsible for them"!  Yes.  I want to help so much and have them feel better that I absorb their pain.   Maybe if I listened hard enough with my whole being it will help them feel better.  It doesn't work that way except some people have thanked me for being there and listening.  So this is something I want and need to practice.  Listen without tensing my body.  Do some slow deep breathing.  Hold my angel stone in my hand and let it speak through me.  Meditate after listening and turn their problems over to the Higher Power.  I'm sure there are more ways to detach.

I'm blogging with Effy Wild in April. 

No bypassing today - Day 10

I've been bypassing my feelings in my blogs lately.  But today I'm not going to.  Friday I ate too much acid stuff - Part of an orange hubby shared with me,  then I made some spaghetti in my Instant Pot and forgot to add the sugar.  I also drank a diet coke.  All day Saturday my stomach burned.  I wasn't thinking when I had orange and tomato sauce on the same day with a coke.  I still felt yucky on Sunday but not as bad.

Monday I realized my IBS was now kicking in.  I have tools to help when my tummy gets stressed emotionally.  They usually work - mindful breathing, Emotional Freedom Therapy/ tapping and meditation.

There is a lot going on right now in my life.  Our medical doctor is leaving.  I had a good relationship with her. She understood my PTSD and said she'd not let me run out of xanax.  Not that I take it daily but I sure do when I'm heading for the dentist or something equally stressful. Usually it's a half a pill. I just hope the new doctor will be as accommodating.

I had to change chiropractors since the other one we'd been going to for years wasn't on our insurance.  I'm not sure about the new one yet.

My son is moving. He doesn't live near us but he is a highly sensitive person like I am and I know how stressful it is to move, especially halfway across the country.  I am happy for him and our daughter in love, but I think I'm absorbing some of his anxiety.  Or not.

Maybe it's Uranus in Taurus right now, my natal Uranus. Quick changes for a Taurean who does not like to move quickly.  I remember my astrology friend/teacher was explaining Uranus and Taurus and how Uranus knocks on Taurus' door saying, "Come on I have a cool thing to show you I think you'd like." Taurus says, "I don't feel like going anyplace today."  Uranus, "Come on, you'll like it, I promise." "Nah, maybe later."  Uranus, "Ok I'm coming in take you whether you like it or not."  So Uranus takes Taurus by the hand and drags her off to see a new adventure and Taurus ends up liking it after all - hopefully.  So I could just feel Uranus knocking on my door.

Here is an interesting article for each sign

about Uranus in Taurus.

I ask my angels and guides to help me by giving me some answers.  I feel I am being guided just by knowing what is bothering me. They did tell me to get up and walk the other day when I just felt like sitting here vegging and playing games the other day.  I didn't want to but "heard" it again, so I paid attention.  They told me years ago to "find out about computers" in a loud voice in my house when I was alone.

Another time I was taking a shower getting ready to go to the dermatologist. I was anxious because I was always getting biopsied. This time a big one got in the shower with me and told me to relax I wouldn't get cut on this time.  And I didn't.  So I do pay attention even if it just feels like it's my imagination talking to me.

Angels watch over you and me

I'm blogging with Effy Wild for the month of April. If you want to know more and how click here. 

Working Jigsaw puzzles - day 9

Do you remember when we used to spread jigsaw puzzles on a table and take turns putting the pieces together?  I have a friend who still likes working  jigsaw puzzles at her table.  I find it very uncomfortable to sit at a table for too long and especially if I was leaning over trying to put a puzzle together.  So I found a really cool app for my iPad and cell phone that's free.  I can sit here comfortably and move the puzzle pieces with my fingers.  There is a free puzzle each day and they give us a lot of free puzzles.  

I don't get any compensation from them but I've tried others and this is the one I like.

Here is a set of puzzles I bought.  Aren't they pretty?

There is a place on the app where you can create custom puzzles from pictures you've saved on your computer. It's really easy to use.  Every time you buy some puzzles you get points so when you get enough points you can use them to buy more puzzles.  

I can change the number of puzzle pieces from a few (If I don't like the free puzzle of the day) to many if the puzzle is beautiful.  Many are very lovely.  I am so thankful for these digital puzzles.

I'm blogging every day in April with Effy.  For more information or to join click here.

Life is Better When We Laugh - Day 8

My sense of humor has gotten me through a lot.  I don't know who I'd be without it.  

 Many years ago I was having a breast biopsy.  They had to stick a needle in my breast to show the surgeon where to cut so they took me to the mammogram room, stuck the needle in my breast, then clamped that machine down and took a picture.  Uh Oh, needle was in the wrong spot so it was taken out and reinserted.  Another clampdown and then they  WALKED AWAY and LEFT me there clamped down.  Not only was I scared about the upcoming surgery but I was left clamped down and couldn't move.  "There has to be something funny about this," I thought.  Sure enough, a silly thought came to me.  I'd be walking down the hall clamped down dragging the machine behind me.  "What time's breakfast?" I'd ask.

Ok maybe that isn't funny to you but it made me laugh and it sure took the edge off how scared I was.  (Everything turned out ok)

I had my lips sewn together when I was sixteen for more skin grafting for my cleft palate.  It was one of the funniest six weeks in my life.  I was staying with my aunt, who owned a dog named Middy.  Since I couldn't talk I had to make a noise to get my aunt's attention.  Middy thought I was talking to him and he'd come running.  Of course I played it up for all it was worth until I had my aunt and her friend practically rolling on the floor with laughter. 

Now this is funny.

Stupidly funny

Many years ago a friend and I belonged to this group that doesn't exist anymore. She created a Krazy Fun page and we'd all post silly stuff on it.  It was hilarious and we had such fun trying to outdo funny posts.

A few years ago I created my own fun page on Facebook and invited her to help me fill it with silly, stupid, outrageously funny posts.  It is very popular and quite active.  I deliberately go searching for silly memes, cartoons, silly songs and more. Many days it has uplifted me and changed my mood.  I've heard that others feel the change to when they come see what's been posted recently.
So if you want a laugh or a groan check out and like my fun page here

I was a Child Bride - Day 7

Oh how I loved to play bride when I was little.  My dear Aunt made me a bride's dress complete with veil and flowers.  She even bought me a cheap wedding and engagement ring set at the dime store.  

My Bridal dress I got for Christmas

I felt so beautiful.  I've lost count how many times I was married.


I'm blogging along with Effy in April.  For more information check here 

It Was Just A Little Pink Spot - Day 6

First I want to say that I am not telling anyone what to do.  I dislike warnings.  So if this speaks to you fine, if not, that's fine too.

Oceans, beaches and pools have been my relaxation places.  As a child we'd spend some summers down at the Jersey shore.  Many summers I'd be having surgeries so the times I spent at the beach were special to me.  Smelling the salt air and feasting my eyes on sun sparkling on the ocean relaxed me to my core.  I also got some bad sunburns.  I'm not even sure if they had suntan lotion in the 1940s.

Little me in the ocean

Me on my Aunt's dock in Stone Harbor

When I was a teenager we moved to Florida and my parents built a pool in their backyard.  I was in my glory.   I turned golden brown and my hair became white/blonde.  My natal moon is in Scorpio which is a water sign.  Moon is all about emotions so no wonder I felt so at home living near water.

When I turned 50 I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my chest.  I was so hoping that it wasn't skin cancer, but it was.  They found a couple more on my forehead so I decided not to go to the beach and sunbathe anymore. People told me, "Just wear long sleeved shirts and long pants and go after the sun goes down."  No thank you.  Nothing about that appealed to me. But I grieved.  When we'd ride by the ocean a part of me just wanted to throw caution to the wind and dive into the ocean.  A few years went by and I spent my time in the air conditioned house.  We talked about moving to the mountains, so we took a couple trips to the Tennessee, North Carolina mountains.  We decided we liked the Asheville area the best so in 2000 we moved up here.  I never saw a mountain until I was over 50 and my Taurus Earth sign fell in love with them.

Fast forward to 2014 I had another skin cancer removed from the side of my nose. This was a raised shiny crusty bump.   Last year I discovered a little pink spot on the side of my nose and rather close to my eye.  It was just an innocuous pink spot.  It didn't bleed, it wasn't crusty but in November my dermatologist did a biopsy and it came back as a basal cell.  I had a consultation with a surgeon who said it needed to come off and I should have had it off a year ago.  So February 8th I had the first surgery. Since it  was very close to my eye,  I had to have two surgeries, one, a mohs surgery to remove the cancer and

 a second with an optical surgeon to make sure the tear ducts were not affected.  She sewed me up pretty good.

The ordeal is done, I've healed pretty well but I'm also a little angry.  It pisses me off that this one special thing that I loved to do could cause so much damage.  Yes I know, it could have been worse.  I googled this and it seems that it's a DNA thing where the DNA cells are damaged and don't heal from sun damage.  Scientists are studying it more.  Yes I have a light complexion, blonde hair and light eyes.  So I am more susceptible but neither my mother or my brother have had to have skin cancer removals.

So if you've been in the sun a lot maybe check your skin for pink spots.  There are charts for what to look for on our skin but this one did not fit any of them.  It was just a little pink spot.

I know I need to tap on the grieving more (EFT/tapping)  because right now the sun feels like my enemy.

Wanna Play? - Day 5

I love playing online games. They relax me.  For anyone who is familiar with astrology,  I have my sun in the house of play, games, creativity and gambling.  Thank goodness I'm a Taurus because I won't become addicted to gambling but I am sort of addicted to gaming.

Monopoly is my favorite.  I just learned that monopoly is played in financial schools.  I play with the robots and they can really be jerks at times when I want to trade a property with them.  Or they can be outrageous and offer exorbitant dollars for my property.  Once I saw two robots trading the same property back and forth, each time they charged higher prices.  It was funny. One day I'll try playing a human.  

Here's another one of my favorites. Gin Rummy.   Sometimes those pesky robots can go Gin or knock so fast it makes me wonder how they cheat.  I wonder what it would be like to be a programmer for online games.  I admire them. 

I have to be in the mood to play Trivial Pursuit because #1 I'm not good at it and #2, it's fast.

Bernie and I play Scrabble together sometimes and that's fun.

I play these games on pogo.com.  Every day they have 2 games for the day where we get 1,000 tokens for each game we win.  On wednesday we get to play selected games for badges and tokens.  I've earned 2892 badges that I can't do a thing with.  LOL  But these games are fun for me and help me when I get depressed or stressed. Playing games is just another tool in my toolbox of life.