Birthdays, Shoulds and Mother's Day

My birthday and Mother's day are usually a week apart or so.  This year my birthday was on a Monday and Mother's Day was the next Sunday.  

"What did you do on your birthday?" 

"Tried to buy a door."

An Asian buffet restaurant gives free meals for people on their birthdays.  I felt like I "should" go. After all it's free.   But my taster wasn't for Asian this year.   What did my taster want?  Oh I so dislike the pressure of feeling like I needed to celebrate something just because it was my birthday. I like myself and want to celebrate every day I'm alive and well.  So I relaxed and know that I can go out to eat any time I want.  Yes that felt better.  We ended up getting hubby a new pair of glasses and eating butter burgers at Culver's.  I really like them and it was just what my taster wanted.  Hubby got onion rings and I got french fries. A birthday party in my mouth!

I had some coupons from other restaurants offering desserts for my birthday.  But I had an A1C test coming up two days later and really didn't want to do desserts.  I know, french fries, buns and onion rings are carbs.  I'm getting real tired of worrying or even thinking about this stuff.  After all I just turned 83. 

My test came out too high and it's got me thinking.  I can get my blood sugar down if I work on it and count carbs, cut out things I like to eat and be careful.  But I'm thinking be careful for why?  I'm not real interested in living until 90 and having to be cared for. Yes I know there are people who live past 90 and are healthy and active.  I'm happy for them.  It doesn't "light me up".  Maybe in a few years I might change my mind. 

A part of me would really like to know how long I'm going to live. I know, many say they wouldn't.   Death is a scary subject. I'm not afraid to be dead, it's just how.  I think the right to die should be passed in every state.  For people who have terminal illnesses and are in pain not just for ordinary old people although ...

Financially I'd like to know how long I have to live.  What's special about having a good credit score when you die?  They aren't going to ask me that at the "Pearly Gates".  

At 83 I don't have the ability to answer how I'd like to see myself in 3 years, much less 5.   I can only think about a week at the most.  I don't say, "I can't wait until"  anymore. 

I'm not depressed, just thinking.  I got over 200 wonderful birthday greetings on Facebook. That made me feel wrapped in a sweet blanket of love. 

As for Mother's Day.  I'd rather have a Smiley balloon rather than flowers.  

I'm glad I have a goofy sense of humor.  It helps and as long as I can find things to laugh about, including our crazy lives I'm ok. 

I Felt Weird so I cooked - 24

This morning I started feeling weird.  Kind of restless, not knowing what I wanted to do.  I allowed myself to sit with it and tapped on feeling odd.  It wasn't a scary type of feeling like something was wrong, just uncomfortable.   It could have been because hubby was outside trimming bushes and a part of me felt like I "should" be out there helping him, although he didn't ask me to.  Before we moved, as we were discussing where we wanted to live, I told him that I did not want to be doing yard work.   I started feeling a tad better when he was finished.  After nearly  61 years of marriage and me having tried to be the "best wife", it is still a bit difficult to be doing my thing while he is doing stuff that might need help.  Being raised in the 40s and 50s I learned well the duties of a good wife. But I'll leave that for another blog.  

1940s housewife

What was I feeling?  Why so restless?  I didn't want to go out, I knew I "shouldn't" sit at my computer all day scrolling Facebook and playing games.  I wandered around the house aimlessly until I reached the kitchen.  Ah, soup!  I love soup and could eat it 4 times a week at least.   I had the ingredients.  First I cooked hard boiled eggs in my Instant Pot.  10 eggs in 5 minutes, quick release five minute natural release, then plunge them into cold water with ice.  They peel so easily too.

While the eggs were building up the pressure,  I chopped onions, garlic, celery and cabbage.  Then cleaned out the Instant Pot bowl and dried it. Then I put it on saute and added some butter and olive oil.  As it was heating, I chopped up a lot of zucchini squash and some more cabbage.  I threw in the onions, cabbage and celery and let them saute a few minutes, then I added the garlic.  I tossed in some garlic powder, Italian seasonings and some other spices I pulled out of the cabinet.   I added a big box of chicken broth and let it heat up for a bit, then I dumped in the squash and cabbage, put the lid on, locked it and pushed the manual button to 6 minutes.

Soup counting down in Instant Pot

After the little silver pin on the top of the lid popped down, I knew it was safe to open.   It looked like this.

soup before blending

I got out my immersion blender so the soup would be creamier.

Soup after blending

Then I added some half and half and a couple handfuls of Mexican Blend cheese.  I tasted it and it needed something more.  Ah yes, a pinch of salt.  Another taste test and the soup was ready to eat.

Out came my favorite love cup that I filled with the finished soup and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese.

I'm not restless anymore, just FULL!