Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Dear Friend


Day 13 - Reminisce 

Did you ever have a friend who really listened to you?  Someone who would look you in the eye and actually hear what you had to say?

I had a friend like that.  His name was Ed and he was a photographer.  I met him at a party.  We got into a discussion about whether I thought gay men should be allowed to adopt children.  He and his then partner had thought about it.

After the party we would see each other downtown and one day Ed invited me to come up to his darkroom to see his pictures, so I did.  I loved looking at all his photographs and later we went out for lunch.

I found out his birthday was the day before mine.  No wonder we clicked.  Ed liked to fix delicious meals and I got to be the recipient.  We had long lunches with deep discussions.  Several times we celebrated our birthdays together.

We were both into Primal Scream Therapy to heal our inner wounds and many times I would put music on to help him get into his feelings. So while he laid on his pad and sobbed I'd do the dishes and change the music.  There was something about that time (early 70s) that was oddly fulfilling.

One day we went to the Mall with our Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls and pretended they were doing all the talking.  It was funny how some people would say hi back to them while others scowled at us and told us to "grow up." 

I was writing Confession stories then and the magazine that my story was published in had come out on the newsstand.  Ed walked into the store that day and I showed him the magazine with my story in it.  He picked up the magazine, opened it to my story and carried it around showing people in the store that I had written it.  It was a bit embarrassing but fun too.

Ed's brother was a cafe singer in NYC and when he visited Ed he would play the piano for us and sing his songs.

Ed was in his late 40s and one day a mutual friend phoned me with the horrible news that Ed was dead.  His brother had come to visit but didn't know where he was.  Finally he found him dead in his studio.  I was heartbroken as were his other friends.  Ed was working on a photo exhibit and wanted me to write his press release which turned into his obituary.  There were rumors about how he died but only his brother knew for sure.   I still miss Ed and hope he is the first one I meet when I die.

RIP Dear Friend






500 Words a Day. Day 1






500 words a day –





DAY 1

I just joined the write 500 words a day challenge. What was I thinking?  I’m not sure if I will work on a short story or just blog every day. I do have a lot to write about  - angels, astrology, eft, tapping, crazy thoughts and more.

I wonder what a story would be like if a gal was going through her mother’s FB page because the mother wasn’t able to for one reason or another and she found some startling private messages.  Or should I say shocking.  What would she do? What would the shocking messages be?  Why isn’t the mother able to get on FB.  Or would the girl find stuff on the mother’s computer or Ipad? Or even iphone?   I was thinking sort of like when the son and daughter found the mother’s letters in the book/movie The Bridges of Madison County.  I was sort of sorry that she didn’t run away with the photographer but I can see why she didn’t.  I probably wouldn’t but it sure would have been tempting. I cry buckets every time I see that movie.

Another movie I love is Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks.  Albert’s character dies and goes to the judgment place.  He gets a chance to see a review of his life, but they show him only times that he was afraid and didn’t act on something because of the fear.   They ask him about it and he always has an excuse.  In other words, he fails and is getting ready to get sent back until the last scene with Meryl Streep.  I won’t give it away but what an awesome movie.

This made me think what good Is it to die with good credit?  If I died with good credit and went before the judgment place they could show me all the times I didn’t do something because I thought I couldn’t afford it.  They’d show me all the fun or trips or nice things I could have bought.  Now that I was dead they could show me how little being out of debt matters.  Unless it was to help my family by not being in debt.

Wow 368 words already. That was fast.

I’m thinking of taking some of my old confession stories that I sold 20 years ago and re doing them. I sold them for all rights so I can’t sell them again as is.  I could change things and bring them up to the age of technology.  I wrote a CB (citizens band) story where the boy who went surfing with friends was late getting home and his family communicated with other CBers along the network to find out where he was.  Ha, I don’t remember where he was. Guess I need to read the story again.  I wonder if CB radio still exists like it did back in the 70s or was it the 80s? I enjoyed it. We went to dances and found ourselves dancing to country music.  We didn’t used to like country music until then. But that was the time when country music was going through it’s own changes.

Until tomorrow.

Opening up

Today I'm going to buy the book, Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner. I am following her blog and I realize that I need to get in touch with some emotions that I've been sucking in, instead of releasing. When I do that my body kicks me in the back or the gut and says, "hey you're doing it again." I'm tired of hurting so I've decided to take the next step and hope I feel better.

I think Susan Boyle the woman who dared sing in front of everyone in England has inspired me. As I watched the video and saw the snickers and the rolling eyes of people who thought, "someone as ugly as her is going to sound terrible" it brought back many memories of my life when people stared at my cleft lip. Some kids in school told me that I had a quiverlip and teased me. Another said she would be friends with me when no one was around. I should've beat her up but I didn't fight. Instead I sucked it up. So watching the audience before Susan sang felt like I was getting kicked in the gut. It felt too familiar. Then when she sang and everyone took another look it was wonderful and I sobbed. I took singing lessons too but I'll never sing like her. I also don't need to worry so much about how I sound either because, like Susan, I can be who I am and be proud of it.

There, I opened up! It wasn't too bad.

Ok let's see what tomorrow brings and what I will open up about.

Hugs, Me