Opening up

Today I'm going to buy the book, Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner. I am following her blog and I realize that I need to get in touch with some emotions that I've been sucking in, instead of releasing. When I do that my body kicks me in the back or the gut and says, "hey you're doing it again." I'm tired of hurting so I've decided to take the next step and hope I feel better.

I think Susan Boyle the woman who dared sing in front of everyone in England has inspired me. As I watched the video and saw the snickers and the rolling eyes of people who thought, "someone as ugly as her is going to sound terrible" it brought back many memories of my life when people stared at my cleft lip. Some kids in school told me that I had a quiverlip and teased me. Another said she would be friends with me when no one was around. I should've beat her up but I didn't fight. Instead I sucked it up. So watching the audience before Susan sang felt like I was getting kicked in the gut. It felt too familiar. Then when she sang and everyone took another look it was wonderful and I sobbed. I took singing lessons too but I'll never sing like her. I also don't need to worry so much about how I sound either because, like Susan, I can be who I am and be proud of it.

There, I opened up! It wasn't too bad.

Ok let's see what tomorrow brings and what I will open up about.

Hugs, Me