Oceans, beaches and pools have been my relaxation places. As a child we'd spend some summers down at the Jersey shore. Many summers I'd be having surgeries so the times I spent at the beach were special to me. Smelling the salt air and feasting my eyes on sun sparkling on the ocean relaxed me to my core. I also got some bad sunburns. I'm not even sure if they had suntan lotion in the 1940s.
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| Little me in the ocean |
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| Me on my Aunt's dock in Stone Harbor |
When I was a teenager we moved to Florida and my parents built a pool in their backyard. I was in my glory. I turned golden brown and my hair became white/blonde. My natal moon is in Scorpio which is a water sign. Moon is all about emotions so no wonder I felt so at home living near water.
When I turned 50 I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my chest. I was so hoping that it wasn't skin cancer, but it was. They found a couple more on my forehead so I decided not to go to the beach and sunbathe anymore. People told me, "Just wear long sleeved shirts and long pants and go after the sun goes down." No thank you. Nothing about that appealed to me. But I grieved. When we'd ride by the ocean a part of me just wanted to throw caution to the wind and dive into the ocean. A few years went by and I spent my time in the air conditioned house. We talked about moving to the mountains, so we took a couple trips to the Tennessee, North Carolina mountains. We decided we liked the Asheville area the best so in 2000 we moved up here. I never saw a mountain until I was over 50 and my Taurus Earth sign fell in love with them.
Fast forward to 2014 I had another skin cancer removed from the side of my nose. This was a raised shiny crusty bump. Last year I discovered a little pink spot on the side of my nose and rather close to my eye. It was just an innocuous pink spot. It didn't bleed, it wasn't crusty but in November my dermatologist did a biopsy and it came back as a basal cell. I had a consultation with a surgeon who said it needed to come off and I should have had it off a year ago. So February 8th I had the first surgery. Since it was very close to my eye, I had to have two surgeries, one, a mohs surgery to remove the cancer and
The ordeal is done, I've healed pretty well but I'm also a little angry. It pisses me off that this one special thing that I loved to do could cause so much damage. Yes I know, it could have been worse. I googled this and it seems that it's a DNA thing where the DNA cells are damaged and don't heal from sun damage. Scientists are studying it more. Yes I have a light complexion, blonde hair and light eyes. So I am more susceptible but neither my mother or my brother have had to have skin cancer removals.
So if you've been in the sun a lot maybe check your skin for pink spots. There are charts for what to look for on our skin but this one did not fit any of them. It was just a little pink spot.
I know I need to tap on the grieving more (EFT/tapping) because right now the sun feels like my enemy.
10 comments:
Oh I know exactly what you mean! 3 basal cell removals so far. I loved the sun as a child - not the ocean for me since I lived in the Southwest but the lake every weekend and no sun screen was ever in the vicinity! Loved the photos of you as a child. Hoping you are feeling better now.
Oh I know exactly what you mean! 3 basal cell removals so far. I loved the sun as a child - not the ocean for me since I lived in the Southwest but the lake every weekend and no sun screen was ever in the vicinity! Loved the photos of you as a child. Hoping you are feeling better now.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I to love the sun, and basted in it all summer long as a child. I worry now about how that might come back at me, and don't bathe in the sun any more, and wear a sunblock that I make most days. Its a scary thing for sure. I'm glad you had good doctors to fix you up, and I hope thats the last you see of it.
Oh no! I understand your grief and your anger. Sending you loads of healing light. I love Asheville and I'm glad you got to move there!
Yes Tami I am feeling better, thank you. I hope you don't have to have any more basal cell removals anymore too. I loved my summers at the shore and my time in Florida. Once I get fully over being angry about the outcome I will be able to enjoy the memories again.
Thank you for replying.
Gypsy I am sorry you are worried about how basting in the sun might come back at you. Maybe talk to your skin and tell it you are sorry. I am going to do that too. What is your sunblock recipe?
The surgery was not that bad. It's just that I had many surgeries as a child to repair my cleft lip and palate and I got PTSD from all of it. So some of it comes up every time I go to the doctors, dentists or have surgery. The Doctors are good with numbing and they have these surgeries down pretty well. So if you can, try not to worry.
Thank you for replying.
Thank you for replying unknown. I appreciate the healing light. Yes I am happy to be living in the Asheville suburbs.
I am SO GLAD YOU CAUGHT IT. <3
Yes Effy, me too. Thanks for replying <3
It is really good you were able to catch these and take action, I am sorry though that it is hard. thank you for sharing.
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